


Cold Nights, Warm Beds

by kerouac2121 (cat_astrophe201)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Comfort No Hurt, Enthusiastic Consent, F/M, First Time, Light Bondage, Lingerie, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Roleplay, Shameless Smut, Stockings, Vaginal Sex, brat!jester, dom!Fjord, no beta we die like men, they dont call it relentless endurance for nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:35:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28146936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cat_astrophe201/pseuds/kerouac2121
Summary: Fjord and Jester don't have a lot of free time between fighting monsters and saving the world. But when they do find a moment to spend together, they make sure to put it to good use. The nights may be cold in Eiselcross, but things are getting heated on the sixth floor.A collection of one-shots between Fjord and Jester, mostly in Widogast's Nascent Nein-Sided Tower.Spoilers for Episode 118
Relationships: Fjord/Jester Lavorre
Comments: 2
Kudos: 80





	1. How Do You Want to Do This?

**Author's Note:**

> the world needs more Fjord/Jester smut. This is my first time publishing my debauchery, so please be gentle. More (spicier) chapters to come soon

Fjord was just trying to keep himself focused, for once. He had agreed to help Beau with her research in the Salon, digging through all the tomes in Caleb’s collection for some insight that would help them in the battle ahead. But no matter how hard he tried to focus or how many books he read, Fjord’s mind wandered back to Jester. The way her hand fit so delicately in his, how she purred when he touched that special spot right behind her horns, that hearty laugh she made when he showed her his attempts at painting…

“Fjord, any luck?” Beauregard interrupted his thoughts. Fjord blinked and looked back at the scroll he was supposed to be reading. It was in Undercommon, a fact Fjord hadn’t even noticed. He handed it to Beau, who rolled her eyes. “You’re not being a very good help, you know.” 

“I’m sorry, Beau,” he sighed. “Just...researching has never really been my _forte_.” 

“Yeah, your _f_ _orte_ is waiting for you upstairs,” Beau snickered, and Fjord flushed. His ears grew hot. “Surprised she let you come down to waste your precious time with me.” 

“I can do what I want, thank you very much,” Fjord responded. Beau rolled her eyes and made a whiplash motion, imitating the sound effect with her mouth. Now it was Fjord’s turn to roll his eyes. Beau’s constant teasing was by far the most annoying part of this new relationship between him and Jester. Fjord turned his attention to another scroll, this one written in Orc. Good, finally something he could actually understand. 

He and Beau spent about an hour together in the library. It mainly consisted of Beau telling Fjord what books to bring her, her reading them at an insane speed, and writing copious notes in her journal. The longer they were working, the more frantic she grew. She started whispering to herself under her breath and grasping at straws of connection. Fjord tried to be a calming presence, just like Caduceus had taught him. He made sure that she kept drinking water, summoning the cats to bring them snacks as needed. 

“It doesn’t make sense, man!” Beau screamed, slamming her journal shut after another dead end. “It’s like, the more I research, the _less_ it makes sense. You feel me?” 

“Sure, yeah,” Fjord responded, trying to organize the mess that Beauregard had made. Suddenly, he felt a familiar voice enter his mind. _Oh no._

 _“Hi Fjord. It’s me. Are you still researching with Beau? Is she angry yet? When are you coming upstairs? I have a surprise for you.”_ The message cut off with some giggling. She had gotten exceptionally good at counting the words for her Messages to him. Fjord sighed to himself, knowing that he didn’t have the willpower to refuse. He silently replied. 

“ _Yes darling, I’ll be there soon. Just helping Beauregard finish up her research.”_ He paused, realizing he had a few more words. “ _I hope the surprise is nothing...dangerous?”_ After the reply, he helped Beauregard finish clearing the scrolls. The cats began putting them back in their proper shelves, much to Fjord’s relief. Beau insisted that she was going to stay down a little longer, and Fjord headed upstairs, floating up through the irises to the sixth floor. His heart was thumping in his chest as his feet touched solid ground. He went to her door, engraved with the familiar symbol of The Traveller, and knocked. 

“It’s open!” she heard him call, her voice muffled. Fjord pushed open the door and entered the entry room. It was surprisingly empty, the roaring of the fire the only sound in the room. 

“Jester?” he called out., looking around in confusion. Usually she was waiting for him at the door, ready to tackle him with kisses. “Where are you, darling?” 

“In the bedroom!” she called back. “Come in, the surprise is waiting for you!” Fjord felt his heart begin to flutter at those words. Walking slowly, forcing himself to be patient, Fjord walked into the art room next door. Surprisingly, the door to the bedroom was closed. As he went to open it, he heard Jester yell out. 

“Wait! Don’t open it yet! Give me, like a second.” Fjord waited, his breath growing heavy in his throat. He was already blushing. “Ok, now you can open it!” 

“Ok, so this surprise…” he started as he opened the door, but was consequently stunned into complete silence. Jester was sitting on her bed, her legs crossed and her expression playful. She looked...different. No, different was putting it lightly. Jester had transformed. She had applied makeup to her face, tracing her violet eyes with black eyeliner and painting her lashes so they fluttered like feathers as she winked at him. Her hair had been taken out of its braids and brushed out, cascading down to her shoulders in brilliant blue waves. The jewelry on her horns was freshly polished, glimmering in the candlelight. But what really shocked Fjord into silence was her outfit. She was wearing a pastel pink lingerie set, with a matching garter belt and sheer stockings. It was made out of delicate, floral lace that barely covered her indecent parts, revealing her ample chest and thick thighs. Little pink bows accented the entire ensemble, an adorable addition that tied it all together. Her tail was curled up and began whipping nervously as Fjord entered the room. Jester stared at him expectantly, batting her eyelashes. 

“So…” she started. “What do you think?” Fjord tried to form words, but his mouth had gone completely dry. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, and he felt completely frozen in place, as if someone had cast Hold Person on him. Jester’s playful smile dropped slightly. “Do you not like it, Fjord?” 

“No, what? No, of course I like it!” Fjord said quickly, finally getting the courage to take a step forward. Jester perked up and stood from the bed, meeting him halfway. Fjord was still staring at her like she was in a dream, like if he touched her she would disappear. “Where did you...how did you...” 

“The cats made it for me,” she replied shyly, averting her gaze from his as a soft smile came back to her face. “I drew it in my sketchbook for them.” 

“The cats can sew?” 

“Of course they can! You just have to ask nicely.” She wrapped her arms around Fjord’s neck, pushing out her chest to show more of her cleavage. Her tail wrapped around his legs, bringing him even closer. Fjord felt his face go the color of her lingerie. He slowly brought his hands to her waist, barely touching her skin. She was soft, smooth, and warm under his touch. He ran his finger over the hem of her panties, marvelling at how soft the lace felt under his calloused fingertips.

“You really didn’t have to do this,” Fjord sighed, not able to keep a smile from spreading across his face as he lightly squeezed her ass. 

“But I wanted to,” she replied, arching her back to lean into his touch. “And you think this outfit is just for you? I look _really_ hot in this!” Fjord laughed and pressed his lips to hers. His hands became more exploratory, running over her back and waist and stomach. Appreciating every single inch of her. He pulled back slightly, their faces inches apart. He could feel her breath-fast, excited, slightly nervous. Her violet eyes sparkled with mischief. 

“So, is this an invitation of sorts?” Fjord asked. Jester rolled her eyes. 

“Stop being so coy and charming,” she pouted. She leaned up and whispered in his ear. “But yes. I want you to fuck me.” Fjord felt all the blood in his body rush to his ears, and Jester giggled at his expression. “You look like you just saw a ghost!” 

“Let’s stop talking. Come here,” he purred, suddenly pushing his lips against hers again, his hands on her back pulling her closer. She kissed back instantly, her canines slightly bumping against his tusks. Suddenly, Fjord pulled away. 

“What’s wrong?” Jester asked. His yellow eyes, their pupils slightly slitted, were drilling into the wall behind her. Jester turned and saw what he was looking at; the painted portrait of Marion Lavorre. 

“Oh,” she said sheepishly. 

“It just,” Fjord started, pushing back his hair with one of his hands. “Feels weird. You know, making love with you in a replica of your childhood bedroom while a picture of your mother stares at us.” 

“Your right, that’s a little awkward,” she replied. “Well, we can go to your room!” 

“Um, alright,” Fjord said, clearing his throat. “Do you want to change, or…” 

“I’ll just wear your coat!” She began to pull off Fjord’s coat with surprising strength, wrapping it around herself. She flapped the oversized armholes playfully, smacking Fjord lightly in the chest. 

“Ok, well I’ll check to see if anyone’s outside, then we can run across,” Fjord said. 

“Or I could Dimension Door us into your room. Wait, does teleportation magic work in the tower?” Fjord shrugged. 

“Best not to try it now, in case something goes wrong,” He assured. Jester nodded. He pulled his other hand away from her waist, and they both sighed at the loss of skin-to-skin contact. Her tail unwound itself from around his legs and he walked to the entryway, his heart racing in his chest. _It’s happening. On the Wildmother, it’s happening._ He was so distracted that he almost ran head first into the door. Jester was right behind him and laughed at his clumsiness. Blushing again, Fjord slowly creaked open the door and peered out. The floor was completely empty and silent. He turned back towards Jester and put his fingers to his lips. He slowly opened the door a little wider, just enough for him and Jester to slip out. Quickly and as quietly as possible, they ran across the hall until they were at Fjord’s door. Bless the Wildmother, it was unlocked. Fjord pushed open the door, gestured for Jester to enter, then slammed it shut. 

As soon as the door was locked and he turned. back to Jester, her hand was on the front of his shirt and she was pulling him back into a kiss. Fjord brought his hand to her back, pulling her even closer towards him as their lips parted against each other. With the other he reached back to her legs and swooped her up, bridal style. Jester gasped against his lips at the movement as he grunted with the extra effort. He kept kissing her as he walked, careful not to trip this time, through the entry room and meditation chamber into his bed chambers. Fjord made sure to kick the door to his bedroom closed after him: he didn’t want to even think about his alter to the Wildmother right now. 

Gently, Fjord placed Jester onto his four poster bed. She hissed slightly at being let go, but took the cue to curl up on soft pile of pillows and blankets. Her legs rubbed against each other playfully and she twirled her hair with her fingers. Fjord stood back and began to unlace his shirt, but Jester piped up. 

“I don’t want you to have all the fun,” she retorted. Fjord gave her a keen look and leaned down on top of her, his fingers running through her hair and tracing her delicate cheekbones. With deft fingers, Jester began unlacing Fjord’s shirt, pulling at the strings and the buttons until it fell away around him. She stared in wonder at his bare torso, marvelling at the mass of lean muscle and scars. Scars that she knew, and scars unknown to her. She felt that familiar heat growing in her chest, and a wetness began pooling in her panties.

Fjord’s fingers traced her lips, his face curled into a smirk and his yellow eyes boring into her. Jester made a move to lift up and kiss him, but Fjord pushed her down. Gently, but with enough force to prevent her from getting up. She snarled playfully, and he chuckled. 

“Someone’s impatient,” his voice was deeper, huskier, tinged with that old accent he used to have when they first met. He leaned in slowly, bringing his hand to cup Jester’s face as his tusks brushed against her parted lips. This kiss was something different than Jester was used to it. It was insistent, more forceful, _hungry_. Fjord’s hands began to run over Jester’s exposed body, running up and down her side. Jester kissed back, her lips parting as Fjord’s tongue entered her mouth. She moaned against him as his hand came up to cup her breast, squeezing slightly. The moan seemed to elicit something deeper in Fjord, and he moved his lips from hers to her chin. He traced kisses down to her neck, then began to kiss and suck deeply at the sensitive skin. Jester moaned against the contact, running her fingers through Fjord’s messy salt and pepper hair. The tusks against her skin sent shockwaves down her spine as Fjord began to massage one of her nipples between his fingers. With his other hand, he ran up and down the stockings on her legs, claiming every inch of her skin for himself. She arched up into him, wanting more of that touch, more of that feeling. 

Fjord lifted his lips to her ear once again, his breath warm against her skin. She knew that there would be a large bruise on her neck in the morning. “Look at you,” he whispered. His fingers stopped roving her body and began to slowly slide down her torso. “I’ve barely touched you and you’re already moaning. Desperate, aren’t you?” She loved hearing him speak like this, his words spilling out of him like honey. She knew that he would stop it if she even breathed wrong, but she didn’t want him to stop. She wanted him to keep talking like this, to keep touching her, to make her feel this way. His fingers reached the hem of her panties, and Jester gasped. Her breath was already heavy in her chest as she peered back up at Fjord, his eyes glazed over with absolute lust. 

“Have I finally rendered you speechless?” he asked as his fingers slowly slid under the hem, moving ever so slightly closer to her slick. His other hand pinched at her nippled harder, eliciting a louder noise from Jester’s throat that almost slipped into Infernal. And with that, Fjord’s fingers reached Jester’s entrance.

He slowly began to circle her clit, eliciting more moans and gasps as he increased his speed and pressure. He began placing small kisses down her neck until he reached her chest. His fingers still pinching one nipples, he kissed up to the rim of her brasserie, pulling it away with his teeth. Jester yelped as Fjord took her exposed nipple into his mouth, sucking and massaging the sensitive skin with delicate precision. Jester’s skin was on fire with the new sensation. Seeing her reaction, Fjord pulled away quickly, eliciting a snarl from Jester as she bared her fangs at him. He snarled back, his tusks gently rubbing against her skin and sending her back into lazy submission. He continued his trail of small kisses, moving down, down, down until he reached her panties. His other finger still massaging her clit, Fjord used one hand to slowly slide off Jester’s underwear, revealing her entire exposed opening. Gently, Fjord pushed apart her legs, making sure not to damage the stockings. He looked up at her with hungry eyes and saw the utter desperation in her face, then brought his mouth to her opening. 

Jester thought she was going to pass out from the pleasure as Fjord brought his tongue to her clit. He started slow, painfully slow, bringing his tongue up and down her opening. Then he began to lazily circle her clit, causing her thighs to quiver against his steady hands. He settled into a rhythm, alternating between sucking and flicking her clit with that silver tongue of his. Jester felt herself growing wetter and wetter as Fjord’s saliva mingled with her wetness. She threw her head back and moaned, buckling against the pleasure and closing her eyes. Her fingers ran through Fjord’s hair, pulling him closer to her. She really hoped the Traveller wasn’t watching right now. 

She opened her eyes again when she felt a new sensation, something pushing up against her entrance. She thrust into the sensation, desperate for something, _anything_ to enter her. She felt Fjord chuckle against her, the vibrations sending her into another dizzying state of pleasure. Slowly, Fjord’s large finger entered her. She moaned even louder; she had put her own fingers inside herself before, but that was nothing compared to Fjord’s strong, well worked touch. Fjord continued to eat her out as his finger began to move, and soon a second finger opened her up even further. It hurt slightly, but it was a good ache, an ache that she found herself loving as Fjord curled his fingers and hit her most sensitive spot. Jester’s breathing grew heavier, her thighs shaking as Fjord continued his rhythm. She felt it coming on, a growing sensation in her body and soon she was calling his name out in Infernal. Fjord could sense that she was close, and he picked up his pace, sucking more insistently at her clit and moving his fingers deeper and faster inside of her. Jester’s breath caught in her throat as she came, her entire body writhing in pleasure as she contracted around Fjord’s fingers. Fjord slowed his pace but continued, riding Jester through her orgasm. When the pleasure became almost unbearable, Fjord slowly pulled away. He looked up at Jester, his eyes brilliantly yellow and his beard wet with a combination of spit and Jester. 

Fjord had never seen Jester more attractive. Her face was flushed, more purple than blue in the moment. She was almost gasping for breath, sweat forming on her brow and her eyes half closed with pleasure.Her makeup was slightly smeared, and her hair, usually so perfect and well-kept, was messy and frizzy from the orgasm. Her body slowly relaxed from the tension and went limp, her head rolling to the side. Slowly, Fjord began kissing up her body, little butterfly kisses until he reached her lips. He still tasted like her, and she loved to taste herself, kissing back insistently and meeting his tongue with hers. 

“Fjord, that was amazing,” Jester sighed, staring at Fjord with a mixture of awe and adoration. He gave another smile as he positioned himself above her, resting on his forearms framing her face. 

“Well, we can stop now if you like,” Fjord sighed, absentmindedly playing with Jester’s hair. His hands brushed against her horns and she shivered from the sensitivity. “I’m alright with that, if that’s what you want.” 

“But you haven’t even gotten to, you know…” Even under the circumstances, Jester couldn’t help but laugh. “Your dick hasn’t been touched yet.” Fjord tried to conceal his embarrassment and was very aware at the moment of the growing bulge in his trousers. 

“I don’t want to pressure you into anything,” Fjord continued, his kisses moving once again to Jester’s neck. “We can stop whenever you want.” 

“I don’t want it to stop,” she sighed, arching her back into his embrace. Fjord made eye contact with her, that familiar glint in his eyes. “I did say I wanted you to fuck me, didn’t I?” 

“I think I need you to jog my memory.” He leaned over into her ear, nibbing slightly at her lobe. “Can I hear you say it again?” 

“Fuck, Fjord. Your voice is so sexy.” ” Jester moaned as Fjord touched that sensitive spot right behind her horns. 

“Thank you, but that isn’t what I asked you to say,” Fjord chuckled, his hand taking Jester’s chin in his grasp. He lifted her gaze to his, reading her expression to make sure everything was consensual. She gave him a wink, indicating this was _exactly_ what she wanted. “Now, what do you want me to do?” 

“I want you to fuck me. Really hard,” she almost whispered it, her voice deeper than its normal high pitched tone. That hungry smirk returned to his face. 

“Good girl. It’s nice to hear you say that, because I was just getting started.” He kissed her with renewed intensity, strands of his hair brushing her face. Jester’s fingers reached up to Fjord’s trousers, searching blindly for the buttons. She felt his hands take her and guide her to the lacing. Still trying to kiss him, Jester fumbled at trying to take off his pants. Eventually, even Fjord’s patience was tested and he sat on the edge of the bed, taking the duties onto himself. It took him a moment, but eventually he slid his pants off, revealing his entirely naked self. 

Jester had seen a lot of dicks in her day. On the Traveller, she had even seen Fjord’s dick before. But she had never seen it hard, and even she gulped at his endowment. The rumors about half-orcs were true, after all. 

Fjord must have seen her expression and grew a little sheepish. “I’ll be gentle, of course,” he said, breaking character. “And it may be more comfortable if you’re on top. Since it is your first time.” 

“Of course,” Jester responded. She crawled to where Fjord was sitting and got up onto her knees, using her tail to turn him towards her and wrap him in a kiss. Her hand cupped his face and trailed down his torso, tracing the lines of his well-defined muscles until she eventually trailed down to his cock. She looked at him a little nervously as she began to stroke it gently, her sweaty palms acting as a lubricant. Fjord groaned, almost grunted, pushing upwards into the sensation. 

“Am I doing it right?” Jester asked as she continued to stroke his cock, this time a little faster. Fjord’s hair was plastered to his face in sweat, his eyes staring at the ceiling. 

“Gods’ yes, Jester,” he moaned, his cock twitching under her grasp. He pulled away from her touch and took her hand in his, slowly guiding her back towards the center of the bed. Fjord propped himself up against the headboard, sitting upwards. Jester straddled his chest and Fjord brought his forehead to meet hers, his breathing already uneven. His arms wrapped around Jester’s back and squeezed her ass affectionately. Her tail wrapped around his forearm to secure herself in his embrace. 

“Gods, you're beautiful” he murmured as Jester reached back for his dick. His hands guided her and settled on her hips. “If it gets uncomfortable, tell me, ok?” 

“Ok,” she smiled back sweetly. She arched her hips and Fjord met her, entering her for the first time. 

Jester gasped at the sensation, at how big he felt inside of her. Fjord kept his forehead to hers, his hands guiding her further down on his cock and rocking his hips to meet her. Jester felt herself stretch to accommodate the girth, a slight pain that was soon overtaken by pleasure as his cock found her sensitive spot. Fjord groaned as they both settled into a slow, methodical rhythm. 

“Gods, Jester, you're so tight,” Fjord murmured, his breath growing ragged as the speed of his thrusts slowly increased. Jester felt him grasp her hips tightly and she began to meet his thrusts with her own. She arched her head back and moaned as Fjord filled her up completely, so full she felt like she was going to burst. Every few thrusts his cock rubbed against her clit, sensing her into another shockwave of pleasure. Fjord kept whispering sweet nothings into her ear as she continued to moan, the pleasure building up in her abdomen. 

“Jester, Gods’ Jester. You’re doing so good, darling. Gods, you’re so perfect...” his voice was growing deeper, more primal, hungrier. His claws dug into her soft skin slightly, his thrusts growing in strength and vigor. Jester tried to respond, but her voice was lost in whimpers and moans. 

“Fjord...I’m coming to come...oh gods I’m going to come again…” she managed in between gasps, every thrust sending her into a new wave of pleasure mixed slightly with pain. She hadn’t even finished her sentence before she was coming again, spasming and tightening around Fjord’s cock. Her orgasm seemed to invigorate Fjord, who groaned louder and thrust even harder and faster. Jester did her best to keep up, but allowed Fjord to take the lead as his hands guided her hips. He was inside of her for quite awhile before he finally came; they didn’t call it Relentless Endurance for nothing. When he did come, Jester was on the brink of a second orgasm, her body shaking from the overstimulation and barely able to keep herself up. With a loud gasp, Fjord released inside Jester, filling her up with his seed. She buckled and let out another loud moan, his name on her lips as she felt herself come again. They sat in that position for a moment, both of them gasping and coming down from their extraordinary highs. Slowly, Fjord lifted Jester off his softening dick until she was straddling his chest again. His seed leaked out of her entrance onto her stockings, but he didn’t care. He would make the cats clean them. Jester stretched out, curling her body until she was nestled against his chest, her head in the crook of his shoulder. He brought his arms around her. They breathed together, both of their hearts racing. 

“Wow,” was all that Jester could manage in the moment. “Maybe you should go into business with my mom because...because I would pay a lot of money for sex that good.” Fjord laughed, his breathing finally settling into a steady rhythm as his heart slowed its racing. He realized how sweaty he was, how sweaty she was.They would both need long baths after this. 

“Maybe if the whole adventuring thing doesn’t work out, I can get my own gig at the Lavish Chateau,” Fjord laughed. Jester giggled, and soon both of them were sent into a fit, uncontrollably laughing as their bodies cooled down together. 

“Sex makes you really tired,” Jester sighed through her laughter, her eyes batting lazily. “Can I sleep here tonight?” 

“Of course, although you may want to wash up before you pass out.” Fjord made a face and wrinkled his nose. Jester hit him playfully on the chest, blushing slightly. They sat like that for a while, catching their breath together before the sweet embrace of sleep overtook them both, Jester still wrapped tightly in Fjord’s arms. 


	2. The Captain and the Stowaway

“So, like, what’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done in bed?” Fjord felt his face grow hot, and not just from the steaming bath water. Jester’s silky smooth tail wrapped around his leg, inching upwards towards his thigh. She took a big sip of hot chocolate, the water just concealing her supple breasts. She was beautiful in the bath-her blue skin scrubbed soft and her hair pulled into a high bun, just a few strands framing her face. She wiggled her eyebrows and giggled. 

“I mean,” Fjord stammered, trying to ignore her flirtations. “I never really dated anyone before you.” 

“But you slept with other people. I mean, remember Avantika?” she insisted, those purple eyes full of familiar mischief. 

“Oh, right. I mean, a few girls, some boys. Most just flings though, one-night-stands in ports to blow off some steam.” Jester rolled her eyes. 

“You’re not answering my question, Fjord.” Her tail was soon replaced by her leg, trailing up, up, up…”Don’t make me force you to say it.” Fjord gave her a look and she giggled again. He reached for his own mug of hot chocolate, the warm liquid (his laced with booze) filling him with courage. 

“There was a woman I was with who was really into...hair pulling,” Fjord mumbled. Jester looked at him expectantly, then pouted. 

“That’s it? That’s like, the most boring thing ever! There’s  _ got  _ to be more.” Fjord rolled his eyes. 

“I’m a boring dude! And it feels weird exploring kinks with people you just hook up with and leave the next day.” 

“But like, you were a sailor! You didn’t, like, use your rope tying skills to…” Fjord’s confused look stopped Jester mid-sentence. “Oh.” Fjord sighed and put down his mug again. 

“You read too much smut,” he grimaced, and she chuckled. 

“And you don’t read enough.” Fjord rolled his eyes again and pulled her into a short kiss. 

“Now your turn. What’s the weirdest thing you ever saw at the Lavish Chateau?” Jester pondered it for a moment as Fjord ran his fingers over her bare back. 

“Well, there was a guy who liked to be chained up and barked like a dog.  _ That _ was pretty weird.” She giggled at Fjord’s expression. “A lot of guys liked things up their butts, too.” 

“What about...anything that particularly interested you?” Fjord asked, trying to make his voice sultry. Now it was Jester’s turn to act sheepish. His fingers reached her ass and squeezed, startling Jester. She gave him a devious smile and blushed. “Well?” 

“Well…” she started, quietly. “There was...one thing. Actually, a few things” 

“Hm?” Fjord asked, his fingers circling around her ass to her opening, his smile cocky and smug. Jester was about to say something then burst into laughter. 

“I can’t say them all out loud!” she managed. “It feels weird.” 

“Just tell me one, for now.” Jester pressed her lips together and relented. She leaned over to Fjord and beckoned him to turn his head. She whispered gently into his ear. 

“Being tied up.” The words sent shivers down Fjord’s spine as she pulled away, giggling. He gave her a curious look. 

“Really? After everything that’s happened to us?” she nodded, looking a little embarrassed. 

“I know it’s kinda stupid…” she continued, but Fjord cut her off. 

“No, it’s not stupid. I just didn't really expect you to be into that kind of stuff.” Her smile returned to her face. 

“Well, I’ve never tried it, but it sounds really fun,” she continued. Fjord’s fingers continued to make lazy circles around her thighs as she pulled him closer. “We don’t have to do it if you’re not into it.” 

“I’ll think about it,” Fjord smirked as he sent Jester into a moan. “But now, let’s do something I think we’ll both like.” 

***

“Man, you can’t keep coming to me with  _ every _ single question,” Beau said, her face buried in her journal. Fjord rubbed the back of his neck nervously. After his conversation in the bath the other day, Fjord was desperate for some advice. He found Beau where she usually was when she wasn’t hanging out with Yasha: situated in one of the reading nooks, books scattered over the table, her eyes wild as she furiously scribbled notes into one of her many journals. 

“I know, Beau, but this one is really getting me,” Fjord sighed, taking a seat across from her at the large reading nook table. She glared at him and shut her journal, leaning over on her elbows. The parchment between them blew as she let out a long sigh. 

“Ok, now what? Is it about the weasel?” 

“No, no, Sprinkles is fine now. This is about,” Fjord took a moment to look around as if making sure they were alone and leaned in to whisper. “It’s a sex thing, Beau.” 

“Oh,” she started, raising her eyebrows. “Is it...is the sex good?” 

“Yes, of course. It’s fantastic, it’s just,” Fjord continued in hushed, fast whispers. “She told me she’s really into this  _ thing _ and I don’t know much about it.” 

“Oh, ok,” Beau nodded along. “Have you read the smut books? It’s usually from the smut books.” 

“Yeah, I read them. But they’re all really terrible. So unrealistic. I mean, sailors would  _ never _ use high quality ship rope on a person’s bare skin…” Fjord saw Beau holding back her laughter and rolled his eyes at her. “I’m sorry, ok? I’m clueless about this kind of stuff. And Gods Forbid I’m not looking through Caleb’s book collection looking for  _ that _ kind of information.” 

“Your cluelessness is weirdly endearing,” Beau chuckled, patting Fjord on the arm affectionately. “So, what do you need to know?” 

***

He decided to bring it up again that night, after they had sex. It somehow felt less awkward when they were both naked and sweating. With Jester curled up in his arms in a familiar position, breathing deeply with her face buried in his bare chest, he cleared his throat. She perked up, and he swore her horns turned slightly towards him like a cat's ears. 

“Um, I was thinking about what you said yesterday,” he started, clearing his throat again. “In, in the bath.” 

“What part? About the guy chained up like a dog? I drew a sketch of him in my book if you want to see it.” 

“No, no. The other part. The part where you said you liked...certain things.” Jester cocked her head to the side curiously. Fjord continued, his yellow eyes flickering between Jester’s face and the ceiling above them. “And, um, since it would obviously make you really happy, I’d be willing to...try it.” 

“Really?” Jester said softly. “You’d do it for me?” He shrugged slightly. 

“Of course. I love you, and I’ll do anything if it makes you happy.” Jester positively glowed and kissed him passionately, her tail wagging back and forth in excitement. 

“Oh Fjord! This is so exciting! Wait, where do we even start? Have you read the books?” 

“Yeah, I read your smut,” Fjord felt his face turn red. “And I got some good advice from...from Beau.” 

“Beau? You went to BEAU about sex stuff?” 

“I don’t know who else to talk to! She’s one of my best friends and obviously knows a lot about sex!” 

“But I talk to Beau about sex stuff!” They both stared at each other for a minute, realizing their position. It sent them into a fit of laughter, realizing Beau was unwillingly mediating discussions on their sex life. When they finally settled, Fjord cleared his throat again. 

“Apparently there are a lot of rules about sex. I didn’t know these things were so complicated.”   
“Oh yeah, Mama makes all her clients read a contract and sign it and they do a lot of talking,” Jester rattled off. “About stuff they like and stuff they don’t like. It’s actually kind of sweet, you know? So everyone’s getting what they want and none of what they don’t and nobody actually gets hurt. Unless they like that sort of thing.” 

“I suppose it could be good to write it all out,” Fjord mumbled. “Shall I get the pen?” 

They spent the next hour discussing and writing it all out on a scrap piece of parchment. Jester ordered them food as they talked, the awkwardness of their conversation earlier fading away. As Fjord finished scrawling the last few words, he handed it to Jester for approval. She read over it, added a note, and handed it back. 

“So now that’s all over with,” Fjord sighed, looking at the document. “What do we do with this?” Jester shrugged, her mouth full of donuts. 

“I don’t know. Mama gives it to the staff at the Lavish Chateau.” 

“We shouldn’t keep it, should we? I could put it in the Bag of Holding just in case.”

“But what if one of the other’s finds it? It’d be pretty weird if they stumbled across a giant sex list.” Fjord smiled at the thought. “And I’m pretty sure we can remember all of it.” 

“We can keep it in my room, in the tower. I think it’ll stay here, right?” Jester shrugged, and Fjord tucked the folded piece of paper into his bedside table. 

***

Jester was getting impatient. Yes, it had been a very busy few days, fighting monsters and trying to save the world. But she and Fjord had written the Sex Paper (as she liked to call it) three whole days ago, and he hadn’t brought it up since. She was beginning to worry that he had decided to forget the whole thing. She didn’t resent him for it; she never wanted him to feel pressured into anything. Still, some nights when he was asleep she would sneak out and read her smut books, ogling at the crazy scenarios the authors dreamed up. She hated to admit it, but a few times during sex she thought back to those books and it made her extra aroused. 

She was lost in thought during dinner, and almost didn’t notice when Fjord excused himself early. She assumed that he was going off to do some meditation. She hung out downstairs longer, laughing with Beau and Veth over large pieces of cherry pie. She floated with them up through the tower, Beau getting off at the fifth floor to ‘say goodnight’ to Yasha. Jester bade good night to Veth as she jumped onto the ground of the sixth floor and made her way over to Fjord’s door, the symbol of the anchor glimmering in the golden light. She assumed he was in there-they usually alternated between rooms. She knocked lightly, not wanting to disturb his meditations. 

“Come in,” she heard him call. She pushed open the door and closed it, surprised that his arms weren’t already wrapped around her in a familiar bear hug. She turned to the entryway and gasped, her hands coming to her mouth. 

Fjord was leaning against the couch, a little hurried but trying to look as cool as possible. He had taken off all his armor and bathed, but had redressed in his old sailing gear. His Captain’s coat, the one she had bought him for the gala, covered a ruffled white shirt and tight black pants that accented his muscular frame. His boots were polished to a shine, and his hair was pulled back and covered by his captain’s hat. Not the giant feathered one that she had bought him, but a more subtle, streamlined tri-pointed captain’s hat. He tipped it towards her as she entered, not making a movement towards her. Jester felt her heart flutter, something in her chest filling her with excitement. 

“Well, well, well,” Fjord sighed, his voice much deeper than normal. Jester swore that there were hints of his old accent. “Looks like the stowaway took her sweet time coming to my quarters.” Jester’s face went red.  _ It’s happening. Just like the books, it’s happening. _

“Oh, I was so afraid of coming over here!” Jester piped up, starting to slip into her role. “I couldn’t bear the thought of facing the menacing Captain Tusktooth all by myself! I’m just a sweet, innocent girl!” She took a few playful steps towards Fjord, batting her eyelashes sweetly. 

“Bright?” He whispered. Jester winked back at their safeword, ensuring that everything was  _ exactly  _ as she liked it. He smirked, once again assuming his persona, and when she was in range quickly grabbed her chin in his strong, muscular grip. Jester felt the air leave her body as he brought his face close to hers. 

“I know who you are, Miss Lavorre,” he hissed. “And I know what you are capable of. Don’t pull the innocent jest on me.” His beard made him all the more fearsome, his yellow eyes giving her a cool stare. Jester stared back defiantly, a faint smile crossing her lips. 

“Then you know that I am a lot stronger than I look.” Jester made a move to pull away from his grip, obviously making a motion to start casting a spell. As if on cue, Fjord reached behind her and pulled her in, pinning her arms against her sides in an embrace. Jester knew that she could escape if she wanted to, but she let out a surprised gasp and acted completely surprised by his show of strength. He grinned behind his beard, a menacing and mischievous look. 

“You’re going to regret that,” he murmured, his arms running up and down Jester’s squirming limbs. She felt butterflies erupt from her stomach as his lips came closer to her, teasing a kiss. She wanted desperately to jump up and pull him in, but stayed dedicated to her role. “You are obviously more dangerous than I thought. And with such a disrespect for authority.” 

“That’s my speciality!” she retorted, her canines pronounced through a devious smile. “What are you going to do about it?” She loved teasing him, seeing his reactions as her tail wound itself up his leg playfully. He smiled cooly, his arms still pining her in place. 

“Why should I waste my time telling you when I can show you,” he said huskily and leaned in for a kiss. She parted her lips and felt his tongue enter hers, exploratory and hungry for more. She made a move to struggle against him, to bring her arms up, but was again pinned to her side by his embrace. She knew that in reality she could easily best him in a contest of strength, but she enjoyed the submissive role she was taking. Fjord began to withdraw, but Jester tried to keep kissing him, hissing as he broke the embrace. His cocky smile returned. 

“So impatient already,” he sighed and he pulled away, his arms dropping and crossing in front of his chest. “Come to my bedchambers. Now. It seems I must teach you a lesson.” He grabbed Jester’s hand and began dragging her towards his bedroom. Dragging was not entirely accurate; Jester was basically skipping to his bedroom, her heart in her chest. As they entered the meditation chamber, Fjord dropped his persona and leaned over to whisper in her ear. 

“Am I doing ok? Is it too much?” His tone was nervous, but obviously excited. Jester giggled and kissed him on the cheek. 

“You’re doing  _ wonderful,  _ Fjord,” she whispered back as they approached the closed door to his bedroom. “It’s exactly how I imagined!” Fjord kissed her back sweetly, took a deep breath, then resumed the role he had created. He held Jester’s hand tightly. 

“Here we are,” he said, leaning against the door cooly. “You should be honored, being in my personal chambers.” 

“The honor is lost on me,” she snapped back. “I’m not afraid of you,  _ Captain.”  _ Fjord leaned in close, his other hand coming to trace Jester’s face with a delicate touch. That cheeky grin returned. 

“You should be,” he murmured, and Jester couldn’t help but let out a little squeal as he pushed the door open, basically throwing Jester into the room. She faked a stumble, trying to look surprised as he closed the door behind her. His boots clicked on the hardwood as he walked towards Jester.

“It’s time to pay for all the crimes you’ve committed, Miss Lavorre,” Fjord continued, standing over Jester and taking her chin back in his large hand. “Your reputation precedes you. Thievery, pirating, trickery. But it seems I’ve caught you at last.” 

“And I’ve heard about you,” she snarked. “The fearsome Captain Tusktooth, protector of the seas and paladin of The Wild Mother. But I have my ways to get out of situations like this.” 

“I wouldn’t try that, if I were you,” He smirked again. “This room is enchanted to prevent all magic except my own. Your little tricks can’t save you this time.” Fjord was so good at lying that even Jester believed him for a moment before remembering their true situation. She grimaced as his fingers traced her lips, her cheekbones, lightly running along her neck. 

“There are a lot more ways to be dangerous without magic,” she finally managed as his fingers ran along her spine. 

“There are, aren’t there? What other tricks are you concealing?” His fingers ran over the strings of her corset, pulling at them playfully. He suddenly pulled back, Jester sighing at the loss of physical contact. He gave her a stern look, his hat casting a dark shadow over his face. “Take off your clothes. I must ensure you’re not hiding any daggers or weapons in case you try to assassinate me.” Jester made a motion to roll her eyes, but slowly began untying the strings of her corset. Fjord didn’t seem to pay any attention to her as he took off his captain’s hat and placed it on its hook. Jester tried to make a show out of undressing, but Fjord wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of watching. She pouted as she finally slipped off her dress, standing only in her underclothes. He finally turned to face her, his eyes hungrily running over her body. Jester made a show to run her hands over her skin and underclothes, smiling wickedly. She was so glad that she had worn her cute, pink lace matching set. 

“Satisfied?” she piped up. 

“Immensely,” he sighed, walking away from her towards the bedside table. “But I still think you’re too dangerous.” Jester took a seat on the bed, crossing her legs and twirling her hair in her fingers. She watched as Fjord leaned over and opened the drawer, his back to her. When he turned, his hands were holding a long coil of black, silk rope. 

Jester felt her tail wag back and forth and her skin began to flush. Fjord ran his fingers through the rope as he walked back to Jester. He leaned in close, his eyes watching her face closely.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked out of character. Jester laughed and nodded, her eyes sparkling with intrigue and excitement. Fjord cleared his throat and stood up straighter. 

“This will make sure you can’t escape,” Fjord started as he began to unravel the cord of rope. “Turn around and put your hands behind your back.” Jester turned, sitting on her knees with her wrists behind her back. With expert fingers, Fjord wrapped the rope around her wrists. It was incredibly soft against her skin, so smooth and slippery but tight. He ran the length up her back and around her shoulders, creating a makeshift harness. She squirmed as the silk rubbed along her breasts. He secured it all with various knots, perfected from his time on the seas. He slipped two fingers under the rope, ensuring it was tight yet comfortable.

“Pull for me,” He murmured into her ear. She tried to pull her wrists apart, but they were secured. “Is it comfortable?” 

“Yes,” she replied, trying desperately to lean into his touch. She arched her back, pushing against the restraints to try and get into Fjord’s embrace. Fjord pulled back, continuing to run his fingers along the rope. 

“What are you going to do to me, Captain?” Jester asked, her voice already breathy. 

  
“I’m still trying to decide that myself,” Fjord sighed, his fingers running along the hems of her bra. She ached for his fingers to do more, her patience running thin. Fjord chuckled to himself as she squirmed against the restraints. _Cheeky bastard,_ Jester thought to herself. He leaned over to murmur in her ear, his breath hot against her prickling skin. 

“So exposed and at my mercy,” he whispered as his fingers continued to run up and down her back, slowly tracing the rope towards her breasts. She felt his claws gently scrape her bare skin and she gasped at the sensation. That elicited another chuckle from Fjord as his hands began to massage her breasts over her bra. She moaned into his touch, arching her back against the restraints.

Fjord suddenly backed away, and Jester hissed as his fingers left her body. He clicked his tongue. “Miss Lavorre, your reputation precedes you. But who knew that just a few well-placed touches could have you so desperate.” Jester faked a struggle against the restraints, the wetness in her panties spreading slowly down her thigh. “I thought I was going to have to be harsher to subdue you.” 

“I’m still not at  _ your mercy _ yet,” Jester spat back. She suddenly felt a hand grip the side of her face and turn her towards Fjord. He clicked his tongue again. 

“You will call me Sir or Captain when you’re in this room,” he said sternly, his claws threatening to dig into her skin. That bead of arousal grew in her stomach. Fjord grinned, mischievous and taunting. Jester wanted so badly to tease him more, to see how far she could push him, but she held off for now. Fjord’s other hand reached between her thighs, running light fingers over her panties. Jester knew that he could feel her obvious wetness, and he chuckled to himself. 

“What if I don’t,  _ Captain?”  _ Jester retorted. 

“Your words say one thing, but your body says another,” he continued, tracing lazy circles around her clit through her panties. “I suppose I’ll have to do something to shut up that filthy mouth of yours,” he murmured. Jester smiled, not breaking eye contact with the intimidating half-orc. Suddenly his fingers pulled away from her panties, and she hissed. His grip on her face tightened. 

“You haven’t earned your pleasure yet,” he spat. “Get off the bed and kneel.” With a little help from Fjord, Jester scooted off the bed until she was kneeling below the foot of the bed. Fjord sat facing her, his legs spread wide enough for Jester to slide in between. She nuzzled up against him, giving him her sexiest smolder. One of his hands began unlacing his breeches while his other ran through her hair, his claws occasionally digging into her scalp and eliciting little noises from her throat. He unlaced his breeches and pulled them down, revealing his rapidly hardening cock. Jester visibly gulped. 

“Oh Captain,” she sighed, looking back up at Fjord nervously. “Am I supposed to put the  _ whole _ thing in my mouth?” 

“I’ll help you,” he husked, his hand guiding him towards his fully erect dick. Jester started at the tip, slowly taking his length into her mouth and running her tongue around his head. Her eyes still looking up at Fjord, she began to take him further into her mouth, her tongue running up and down. She struggled as she neared the base; she was used to doing this with the help of her hands, and the rumors about half-orcs large endowments were very true. She felt Fjord’s hand on her hair tighten slightly, guiding her throat to take him fully. She gagged as he hit the back of the throat, but her mouth adjusted quickly to the sensation. 

“Good girl, good girl,” Fjord said as Jester fell into a steady rhythm, his hand on her head guiding her along. She kept her eyes staring at his face, those violet eyes twinkling with glee. She sucked hard, his legs trembling slightly and his breath heavy. He tried hard to maintain his composure, but she heard him whisper. “Gods Jester, you’re going to be the death of me.” She loved the sounds she could make him make, the way his voice grew a little more primal as she continued to blow him. He brought his other hand to her head, the pace increasing. She was trying her best to keep up but let Fjord take the lead. She felt his legs start to shake a little more, his palms grow a little more sweaty. She heard him groan and push deeper into her throat as he came, warm threads of seed spilling down her throat. He pulled out, cum dribbling down Jester’s mouth as he let out a series of deep breaths. Without breaking eye contact, Jester licked her lips clean of the seed, savoring its taste. Fjord’s eyes were glazed over with lust, his fingers still entwined in Jester’s hair. It took him a moment to find words as he came down from his orgasm. 

“You really are full of tricks,” he finally managed, sending Jester into a fit of giggles. She tried to steal herself and slip back into her persona, giving Fjord her best fake-scowl. Fjord pulled his dick back into his breeches and stood up, talking long strides around the still-kneeling Jester. He knelt down and grabbed her gently by the harness, helping her stand to her feet. He clicked his tongue as she stumbled.

“Such a mess,” he murmured. “Has your attitude improved, Miss Lavorre?” 

“Why don’t you find out, Captain,” she spat, once again faking at struggling against the restraints. Fjord clicked his tongue again, sidling up close to Jester. His hand came to massage her breasts. 

“Don’t deny it, Miss Lavorre,” he continued as his expert fingers, trained from so many years on the sea, pulled at her hardening nipples. “You enjoy this.” 

“No, I don’t!” Jester cried, trying to hold back her gasps of pleasure as Fjord brought his hips to her ass, his cock already hardening again through his breeches. She felt a painful tug on her breasts. 

“I didn’t hear a Captain that time,” Fjord murmured in her ear. He suddenly pulled away from her again. “Get on the bed. I need to teach you some manners.” With a light push (more of a helpful guide), Jester laid on the bed with her hips up, her face resting gently on a pillow. In this position, with her wrists still wrapped in their harness and body completely exposed, she felt almost completely helpless. And it made the warmth in her chest grow hotter and hotter. 

Once again, Fjord took his sweet time coming over to the bed. He had removed his shirt, exposing his scarred and muscular torso as he leaned over Jester, his hands resting comfortably on her hips. He slowly dipped a hand between her thighs again, pulling apart the underweath until he found her dripping wet slit. Jester shivered against the contact, trying to arch her back or maneuver her hips in any way to get more contact. 

“By the time I’m done with you, you’ll be begging for more,” Fjord continued. “Maybe this will finally teach you some respect.” With deft fingers, Fjord pulled Jester’s underwear off and over her legs, exposing her entire bottom to him. Jester gasped as his fingers began circling her clit, rubbing her in the way that drove her insane. She felt a finger tease her entrance as he continued to circle her clit. 

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Fjord asked as his finger slid into her entrance, curling slightly and sending her into another wave of pleasure. Jester grit her teeth and tried to hold off. 

“No,” she spat into the pillow, albeit with hesitation. Fjord clicked his tongue and entered another finger, causing Jester’s thighs to quack as he began to move them in and out in a faster rhythm. Jester tried burying her face in the pillow but couldn’t help but let moans escape her mouth as the pressure on her clit also increased. 

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Fjord asked again, a third finger stretching out her entrance and pushing inside of her. Jester was barely holding it together, her breathing irregular as Fjord finger-fucked her. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. Between moans she let finally found the words. 

“Yes, yes, please fuck me,” she managed as he rubbed against her G-Spot. She suddenly felt him stop entirely, his fingers leaving her and the pressure on her clit subsiding. He leaned over close to her ear, his voice sending sparks down her spine. 

“I didn’t hear a _ Captain _ after that,” he whispered. Jester could hear his hands frantically unlacing his breeches as he pulled out his cock. She caught her breath and arched her back, her ass on full display. 

“Please fuck me, Captain,” she gasped. One of his hands was tracing her ass lightly, claws digging into her skin. “Please.” 

“Good girl,” he rumbled, pulling back. His hands gripped her hips tightly as he brought his hardened cock to her entrance, entering her with a vigorous thrust. Jester gasped at the immediacy of it, the shock of his huge cock finally entering her. She moaned into the pillow as Fjord fucked her, his pace increasing with each thrust. She kept begging as he continued, her body putty in his hands. 

“Oh, please keep fucking me Captain, please…” she continued, her voice faltering as his cock filled her up entirely. Soon she couldn’t even form words as the pleasure overtook her, the hazy warmth of submission blanketing her mind as Fjord used her as he pleased. She felt that familiar warmth swelling in her groin, and suddenly she exploded, her words transformed into loud moans as she shook around Fjord. It seemed to invigorate Fjord, who kept thrusting and holding Jester’s hips high as he took her. She heard him gasp as he came inside of her just a few moments after, seed pumping into her sore entrance. There were a few moments when they were in stasis, both of them riding out their orgasms while intwined. Slowly, Fjord pulled out and Jester sighed, her face buried in the pillow. She felt Fjord’s hands reach for her wrists and untie the knots, carefully pulling the silk rope off her body. He sat up on the bed and pulled her into his lap, his arms wrapping around her tightly. 

“Was that...was that too much?” he asked, still catching his breath. He took Jester’s wrist and examined them carefully. “I should have kept checking the restraints, I’m sorry…” 

“Fjord, stop,” Jester sighed, leaning up and kissing him on the cheek. “It was wonderful. Stop worrying over me.” He blushed slightly, bringing his arms tighter around her in a comforting embrace. 

“Is there anything you want me to do for...aftercare? I think that’s the word for it,” Fjord continued. Jester thought about it for a moment. She pulled out of Fjord’s embrace and laid her head in his lap, curling up slightly. 

“Can you just, like, play with my hair for a bit?” she stated. “And maybe rub the parts where the rope hit. That sounds nice.” Fjord obliged, one hand gently running through her hair while his other hand massaged the parts of Jester’s skin where the rope dug in a little tightly. She was tense for a few minutes, but slowly melted into the touch, a purr rising out of her chest 

“I think I like this part the best,” Fjord chuckled, and Jester joined him. “But, uh, if you liked it...I’d do it again.” Jester looked up and winked. 

“Oh Fjord, we’re just getting started.” 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 2 am and I'm writting smut about a two dnd characters played by a married couple. what a life.


End file.
